02 October, 2010

Noisy Brain Syndrome

If, by industry, man can do good
Then he should do so
Not to prove that he can
But that he could.

There isn't a lot now that I can add to my log of "voluntary" incarceration.   Except perhaps to add what Grand Poo-Bar, Mr Hodges, had to offer today. It may not be immediately apparent how I am currently.   That's mainly due to 25 plus years of lying, good acting and a hefty dose of denial.

What was different about Thurday or Friday?  VWell, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen.  Not having a phone was inconvenient: what was unbearable was not having Stravinsky, Shostakovich, Gershwin. Beethoven (Symphony 7.2 is sublime) or Tchaikovsky was doing my head in.  Depression is bad enough, auditory hallucinations - the three personalities inside my head but outside - are hard to handle during an episode.

Mr Hodge held my tome of mental health history and noted an antipsychotic drug wasn't as effective as it should be & that despite of many symptoms being controlled, the depth & the depression have been increasing as well the severity of hallucinations/psychosis.

Instead of calling it schizophrenia, we decided on "Noisey Brain Syndrome".  As an example of how intrusive this is for this depressive episode, it's taken 5 hours to get this far plus a fair whack of Stravinsky and Shostakovich.

I'll find out Monday all the treatment option.  Some from the outset I won't entertain, like Electro-Convulsive therapy (ECT) or Lithium.  Better Living Through Chemistry.

The biggest shock was how friends, old and new, rallied together to help me: an old iPhone 3G for basic telephony and net access, and an iPod Shuffle for music.  I can't thank them enough.

I'm not sure how ordered this entry is.  Sometime in the future when I'm better, I'll read it and know.      

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